authenticity 101

When The Vision Becomes Reality Part 2

The Proposal

So what prompted me to suddenly want to share personal vision stories on my blog? The marriage proposal from my partner Phil last month re-confirmed that visioning is real, that it works and that we all have the capacity to shape our own realities. In making my story public, maybe you will be inspired to discover your values and create your own vision for an amazing life.

After Chris and I spent time restoring our relationship but unfortunately not our marriage, I decided that I wanted a romantic partner. I wanted someone to love me for who I am, to understand me and support me and challenge me. Someone to share my life with. I decided to create a list of who that man would be. I wrote out what I wanted by specifying which values we would share, what character traits and personality he would possess and what our relationship would look like.

When I met Phil and his boys while camping with friends, there was an instant connection. But there were lots of complicated reasons for us to stay just friends. Well, I thought there were complications so we did just that. Become friends. We wrote to each other on email, had coffee once in a while and met at mutual friends’ houses for special occasions. Six months later I had to admit to myself that my heart knew better than my head and that this was the man I wanted to be with. Once I had committed to being with Phil, I remembered my list which was buried under some journals in a desk. I was astounded to see that he met every single one of the criteria I had set out, before even knowing him. I had even specified I would like my future partner to be a teacher, handy around the house, at least 6’1 in height and have the ability to be authentic and communicative. It was spooky to have manifested the vision of my perfect partner.

Now one of the complications of being with Phil was the fact that we were blending 6 kids together. Where to live? How to make that transition smooth? How to create space for all 4 parents to feel safe in the new family configuration? Visioning. Phil and I intentionally and deliberately discussed our vision of how our new family would be brought together gradually, how we would renovate my home to meet our new needs and how we would create the emotional space to let the kids adjust in their own individual ways. It was challenging and delightful and busy and emotionally demanding but always moving in the right direction. Because we had a vision and we knew that we wanted health and happiness for all parties involved. And when you know what your are aiming for, it is much easier to stay on the path towards that goal. Even when the path gets rocky.

So to get back to the reason for this post, take a close look at the photo with this blog. When Phil proposed last week, it included a surprise poster-sized collage of photos and words that depict our life together. It is basically a representation of our vision becoming reality. The poster has hundreds of photos depicting Phil and me, our children, our camping and cottaging trips, our renovation and our friends. It’s a reflection of Phil’s love for me and for us as a couple and for our wonderful blended family. And that gift reminds me once again that knowing what we value and following our heart creates magic and the opportunity for our visions to become reality.

I hope you take the time to create your vision. It’s an incredible feeling to have it come true.

February 2018
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